The Schmidt Sting Pain Index rates, well, the pain of insect strings. It’s compiled by one extremely dedicated and perhaps a tad masochistic scientist, Dr. Justin O. Schmidt. Zooillogix reported a couple months back in the index’s palette of pain:
1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the light switch.
1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic & burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.
These descriptions are terrifyingly vivid, like a lightning strike to the eyeball! Doesn’t it make you wonder about the man behind the stings? Wonder no more – Zooillogix nabbed an interview with Dr. Schmidt. Sample question:
Was there a point that you regretted letting a particular insect sting you?
I never directly “let myself be stung” by anything particularly painful. Those that are really painful are quite good at stinging one without help. The worst stinging I received was probably by some black wasps (Polybia simillima) in Costa Rica. It was the only time I have ever seen that species, was ill-equipped at the time to collect the large nest, did not realize how good they were at penetrating bees suits and other barriers, and I absolutely needed that nest. The result was lots of nasty burning stings and a few irate colleagues who were nearby. Incidentally, most of my nasty stinging events are similar – they were serendipitous discoveries of a wonderful species that I needed and had no choice: grasp the moment, or lose it.
Apparently grasping the moment feels like burning (perhaps like a paring knife to a lemon-juice covered fingertip).