Does the singing of whales contain mystic knowledge? Are they trying to talk to us in order to gain citizenship? Do they sing for the pure joy of being one with the watery beautiful earth?
Nope. Like mammals everywhere, they’re trying to have sex. Microphones placed on 35 blue whales (by SIO researchers, yippee!) revealed that the majority of sounds were made by males to attract females. As one of the researchers, Dr. John Hildebrand, put it:
“It is a way of advertising themselves to the female,” Hildebrand said. “He is trying to convince her that he is a big dog and she would be a fool to go out with any other male in the blue whale bar.”
The other sounds were made to keep in touch with each other – a yo! where you at? of the deep.
I suppose we’ll have to look elsewhere for our mystic inspiration. Here in San Diego, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is recruiting religious scholars. And my allegiance, as always, is to the Great Old Ones. Cthulhu fhtagn!